(taken from a journal entry during my stay with the Daughters of Charity on my own Alternative, Alternative Spring Break trip to Evansville, IN, on March 14, 2012)
I think our Church is on the brink of change. The role of religious in the Church will evolve and it makes me wonder what my part will be in all of it. What is the future of religious communities in the Church? Will lay ministers run everything and priests administer the sacraments? I don't think so. I think religious are still a vital part of the Church, but in the future they may not hold positions as nurses or teachers. What they do will be less important than who they are and how they channel God's love to others.
So what about me? What is my role in all of this? I feel God calling me toward the Daughters of Charity for what... to serve the poor with a bunch of women my grandmother's age and then live without a community for the rest of my life? I worry so much about the future when I really should just get out of bed every morning and live each day at a time.
I was talking with Sr. Theresa the other day about this very concern. I feel called to be a religious sister but I don't want to be alone as the other sisters age and to be quite honest, I am a young woman who appreciates a bit of young company. I mean, I don't need to always be around women my age, but now and again, it would be refreshing.
During the conversation, I finally said, "Maybe I should just start my own community." Sr. Theresa asked me, "What would your community look like?" I thought about it for a minute and all I could think of was everything I have been doing while working with the Daughters of Charity: serving the poor with my whole heart, walking with them on their journey and sharing our stories. So I responded, "There are too many new ones. Maybe I will just reform an existing community." Sr. Theresa's eyebrows perked up and she asked, "What would you change?"
And you know what? I instantly went back to 19th century France when Rosalie Rendu joined the Daughters of Charity after the Revolution, when the sisters where rebuilding their presence in the community. Rosalie had courage to enter a community in the process of redefining themselves in response to the new government and demands of the time. She didn't know what the future would bring. She didn't know what she would find herself at the barricades trying to make peace. She didn't know that a young and impetuous college student would come to her to gain wisdom and learn how to serve the poor, eventually founding the Society of St. Vincent de Paul. All she did was respond to God's call with a yes and do whatever was needed of her.
I think when Christ meets Christ, his true presence is made known. When we serve the poor, we walk in Jesus' footsteps, where love meets no boundaries and we are able to reach out to the meek and the lowly. But we must also remember that when we see the poor, we see Christ, for those who suffer are closest to Him. When we look into the eyes of the poor, we see our Lord. So I will say it again, when Christ meets Christ, His true presence is made known. When I serve the poor, I feel closest to Him and honestly, there is no greater happiness on earth.
So I think about my answer to Sr. Theresa, "What would I change?" Well, I wouldn't be the one changing anything. I think God is calling us closer to him and it may be in ways that are different than what the Daughters of Charity do right now.
Sr. Margaret said there is not a need like there once was and I agree... there is a different need. The Daughters of Charity may not be opening hospitals, schools, homeless shelters, or a number of other ministries like they once did, but there is still a need for them. There is a need for "True Charity" and this true charity lies in the hearts of Rosalie, Louise, and all the Daughters of Charity. True charity is where Christ meets Christ and His true presence is made known.
I feel called to this radical charity. Though I may not know exactly what that may look like for me, my spirit is drawn to it and I cannot escape this desire. Am I a little worried about the future of the Daughters of Charity? Sure, but I believe God works through all of this. Rosalie joined after the French Revolution when there were few sisters. Why did she join? Was she afraid? They say, "If you build it, they will come." Well, perhaps I will just focus on doing my part in bringing about the Kingdom of God and maybe the rest will just take care of itself in the process. Trust in the Lord and surrender to His will.
